Stop trying to be like everyone else
Comparing yourself with others will not achieve anything. It will rob you of everything. It will keep you in shackles.
Do you struggle with comparison? I do.
Did you know comparison kills? I know it but still wrestle with the thing.
It’s easy to compare ourselves with everyone else. Social media is an ocean full of people to imitate and if we’re not careful, if we don’t keep our guard up, if we don’t focus on the right things, we will drown ourselves trying to be everyone else.
Writing online is no exception. I see many great writers here:
, , , , and just to name a few. There are many more here on Substack and others that aren’t like Ted Dekker and Justin Whitmel Earley. My point: I’m Aaron, not any of them. And you are you and not me or anyone else.So, why do so many of us try so hard to be like everyone else?
FOMO—Fear of Missing Out—resonates deeply within many of us. As a pastor and a writer, I've often grappled with how comparison can swiftly erode the joy in my work. It threatens to extinguish passion and obliterate the possibilities of fulfilling God's unique vision for my life. We frequently find ourselves caught in the endless cycle of trying to emulate others, hoping to replicate their achievements. But what if God's blueprint for our lives is radically different? What if the world's definition of success is a mirage, and true success is found in obedience to God's distinct calling?
These are challenging questions, but they are crucial ones.
FOMO, or the fear of missing out, often shifts our focus to what we lack or what others have, pulling us away from the divine purpose God has for us. It keeps our attention fixed on earthly achievements and comparisons, rather than on the eternal and fulfilling plans God has uniquely designed for each of us. When consumed by FOMO, we become ensnared in a web of self-centered thoughts and envy, preventing us from experiencing the fullness of life in Christ.
The story of Peter walking on water vividly illustrates the dangers of allowing distraction to commandeer our focus. As long as Peter's gaze was firmly fixed on Jesus, he experienced the miraculous—walking on the water amidst a storm. However, the moment he shifted his attention to the turbulent winds and waves, doubt crept in, and he began to sink. This narrative serves as a metaphor for our spiritual journey: fixating on external factors—be it the success of others, societal expectations, or personal insecurities—can cause our faith to falter, obstructing our path to fulfilling God's calling.
FOMO diverts us from building God's Kingdom because it encourages competition rather than collaboration, and self-obsession rather than servant-heartedness. It blinds us to the opportunities for growth, service, and love that God places before us. By anchoring our focus on Jesus, we can transcend the fears and distractions that hinder our spiritual progress and embrace the joy and purpose found in following His lead. This clarity not only strengthens our personal walk with God but also empowers us to contribute meaningfully to His Kingdom, enriching the lives of others in the process.
During my time as a youth pastor, I learned this lesson firsthand. When I turned my gaze toward what other youth groups were doing, I failed to lead my own group in the way the Lord intended. Constantly comparing myself and our ministry to others did not promote unity—it created division. The moment we start viewing fellow Christians or churches as rivals, we miss the fundamental truth: we should be united in our mission. Comparison shifts our focus, causing us to lose sight of our true path—and most importantly, to lose sight of Jesus and His plans for us.
Comparison not only jeopardizes our personal journey but also hinders the communal spirit that is essential for building God’s Kingdom. Each person and ministry has a unique role to play, a distinctive mission that contributes to the grand story God is weaving. By constantly measuring our progress against that of others, we risk undervaluing our own contributions and doubting the significance of the path God has placed us on.
I constantly battle negative thoughts of feeling like what I do doesn’t add much value to anything. Of course, that’s a lie, and the enemy wants to drain me into the sinkhole of comparison. Accepting our individuality and the unique journey God has set for us is crucial for developing a vibrant and effective community of believers.
Moreover, comparison feeds into a scarcity mindset—the belief that there is a finite amount of God’s blessings to go around. This mindset can breed unhealthy competition, leading us to focus on outdoing others rather than uplifting them. However, God's love and grace are inexhaustible, and His blessings are tailored to each of us. By trusting in God’s provision for our lives, we can overcome fear, release comparison, and champion the successes of others, knowing they do not diminish our value or potential. Isn’t that great to know? We must also believe that to be true.
Casting aside FOMO requires a deliberate, ongoing choice to focus on Christ, the author, and perfecter of our faith (see Hebrews 12:2). When we cultivate contentment in Him, we free ourselves from the shackles of comparison and open our hearts to the fullness of His plans.
By keeping our eyes on Jesus, we find the courage and clarity to walk our own path, experiencing the joy and peace that come with faithful obedience to His will. The journey may look different from others, but it is uniquely ours—designed by God for His glory and our ultimate good.
So, whatever your journey looks like—as a writer, as a pastor, as anything else—know this: comparing yourself with others will not achieve anything. It will rob you of everything. It will keep you in shackles.
Today, I’m choosing to focus on Jesus, enjoy the gifts of others, and do what I believe God has called me to do: to write, preach, and teach.
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